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HORATIO BALTZ, PERHAPS ALREADY LYING TO YOU.

       Though Horatio Baltz remains quite reclusive and rarely makes appearances in public - many have come to know him only by his peculiarities. Due to his adamant refusal to be photographed or have his likeness captured on any reproduceable medium, many are not even sure what Horatio truly looks like.
       However, there are scattered woodblock cuts depicting the likeness of Horatio Baltz - the most notable being the "Rose Series" tenderly carved by Albrecht Durer. Horatio Baltz is seen poised next to a cotton spool with Paul Moody. Another print clearly shows Horatio Baltz enjoying an afternoon tea with Jérôme Bonaparte. Another shows Horatio working on the Columbian Printing Press with George E. Clymer.
        When the Treaty of Versailles was signed, Horatio fled France, making his way by shrimp boat to the shores of Manhattan Island where he worked as a dock worker and fisherman's aid for a negligible amount of time.
       As a result of a vehement arguement over the difference between a ketch and schooner and the resulting loads the vessel would be capable of holding, Horatio Baltz shot and killed a William Curtis Colepaugh in broad daylight, in cold blood.
 		       A lengthy and widely publicized court proceeding followed - marked with a number of surprise witnesses and testimony of epic proportions. After 3 days, Horatio was found guilty of Murder in the First Degree and sentenced to 25 years at Riker's Island.
       Due to public outrage stemming from a poll by FOX News, Horatio was pardoned and his 25 year prison sentence was reduced to a 50.00 USD fine (which remains unpaid). There is currently a bench warrant for his arrest. Horatio has been known to say he is truly sorry for the incident.
       In 1959 Horatio made his way to Chicago where he worked as a bell hop at The Days Inn for a brief period of time. It was during this time Horatio fell madly in love with a Marlene Dietrich, checked in at the nearby Continental Grand Hotel. Dietrich's 1930's hit "Falling in Love Again" was, in fact, written for Horatio. Disgusted, Horatio left Dietrich in the wee hours of the night - leaving only a poorly written farewell letter and half a bottle of gin. They remain friends to this day.
       Two years later in 1961, Horatio moved back to New York City where he took on a number of odd jobs. In 1974, Horatio was shot and killed in Memphis over an arguement about the price of corn. His ashes are buried in Greenwood Cemetery.